Ever thought “What if…”
Have you ever caught yourself thinking “What if…” and suddenly you’re spiralling down a rabbit hole of endless possibilities of what could happen – but probably never will? It’s easy to let our mind wander through countless scenarios, and before we know it, we’re lost in a sea of hypothetical outcomes. Unfortunately, these thoughts can become overwhelming, making us feel anxious, stressed, and out of control.
Engaging with these thoughts can feel like playing a game of whack-a-mole. Just when you have addressed one, another pops up.
Are “What if…” thoughts useful?
While exploring potential outcomes can help with decision-making and problem-solving to some extent, the truth is, we can never predict the future. Running through endless “What if” scenarios in our heads can be exhausting. When these thoughts become constantly distracting, disrupting daily life and triggering anxiety then it may be time to address them. Here are a few suggestions.
Create a “What if” worry time
Sounds counterintuitive right? But worrying can be endlessly repetitive. So, rather than letting these thoughts invade your entire day, schedule a daily “What if…” worry time. Set aside a specific time, a maximum of 30 minutes, each day to focus on them. Having a designated time allows us to process our worries in a structured way. If 30 minutes feels overwhelming, start with 10 or 15. During this time, you’ll be more likely to focus on what’s really bothering you and potentially come up with solutions. Throughout the rest of the day, when anxous thoughts arise, remind yourself you’ll deal with them during your worry time.
Set boundaries for your thinking
Setting a boundary within ourselves means recognising when worries arise and telling ourselves that “I’ll think about this later during my worry time.” At first you may need to do this several times, but with practice, the brain adapts and learns to respect the new boundary. This approach helps build discipline around when and how we engage with our worries, preventing them from taking control of our thoughts.
Write down your thoughts
Writing down thoughts can give us a sense of control. When reading it again, they often lose their power, and we gain a different perspective. Seeing our thoughts on paper can make them feel less overwhelming and more manageable.
Write a list of positive “What if’s” scenarios
There’s always a flip side. For every negative “What if…” there’s a positive possibily as well. Write down three more optimistic alternatives. Like, “What if…”
- … the best case scenario happens?
- … I learn something valuable from this?
- … the worst happens – and I survive?
- … if I’m okay?
- … it goes well?
- … I succeed?
- … all this worry is for nothing?
- … I get better?
Identify what you can control
Life doesn’t always go as we hoped, and there are challenges, setbacks and unexpected outcomes. Sometimes the worst-case scenario does happen. But focusing on everything we can’t control drains our energy and lowers our mood. Instead, identifying what is within our control, we can shift our perspective and mindset.
Visualise two circles: the inner circle represents everything we can control, and the outer circle represents everything we can’t. The next time you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself “Am I focusing on things within my circle of control?”. By shifting attention, we can regain a sense of power over our situation.
In a world full of uncertainty, learning to manage our thoughts can bring clarity and peace. Tackling “What ifs…” can be challenging, but with practice, we can learn to lessen their impact.
Ready to make a change? Book a session today and start your journey towards a calmer, more focused life.